The Emerald Girl

casual. classic. curious.

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

About the head and the heart


(I always try to never use all or nothing statements so here we go. Why do I feel the need to always use a disclaimer?)

You know the question: do you usually follow your heart or follow your head. Your heart usually representing your feelings and your head representing logic. Heart is most often implying love but in the case of this blog it encompasses all feelings. When I answer this question, I'm quick to respond head. Really, when I think about all the tiny decisions I make throughout the day, not just decisions to act but decisions to react, decisions to have a certain attitude, decisions to not decide - a lot them are ruled by feelings. Do I feel like it? Do I feel good? Do I feel annoyed? The thing that I'm becoming more aware of lately is that if I'm always waiting to feel good or right whether it be mentally, physically or emotionally then I'm going to be in the wrong a lot. Let's face it, as I'm getting older and working on improving my health I'm usually not feeling great in one or more of those categories (physical, mental, emotional).

Maybe you can relate: when I'm not feeling great then I don't necessarily want to do anything. I don't want to fold the laundry, I don't want to pick-up the house, I don't want to spend time with my kids, I don't want to work, I don't want to be friendly and the list goes on.

It's easier said than done but we shouldn't be basing much on how we feel. Feelings are fickle. They change with the wind. Feelings can lead us away from truth and reality. I force myself to take care of household responsibilities even when I don't feel like it. I'm learning to say 'sorry' even when I don't feel sorry. As I learned in the movie The Irishman, saying sorry from the will is good even if you don't feel sorry. I think it's a practice to put your body into the right motion and sometimes the heart will follow and sometimes it won't but either way you do the right thing. If you mess up and wish you would have acted differently when you weren't feeling good (physically, mentally or emotionally), don't fret, you will surely have another opportunity very soon.

I often think of my body as a vessel for God to use which helps me to push myself in situations where I don't feel like it. Again, I could come back to the household chores example but, also, socially. Do I feel comfortable offering that man I just saw digging in the garbage my leftover food? Nope, definitely not, I don't enjoy walking up to perfect strangers and speaking but sometimes I will and I most definitely rely on a strength greater than myself. Do I enjoy helping friends/family when it's in imposition? It's not something I jump at (don't hate me, guys!) but I'm learning to relish the opportunity to serve others. We don't always get chances to help people in everyday life and I'm glad to be in a place right now where I can say yes more easily. Do I want to say sorry to someone when I feel totally justified in my words and actions? That's a big N-O. Just ask my husband (sorry, babe). Once more, putting your feet in the right direction can bring your feelings into alignment, at least in my experience (immediate or delayed).

Edited to add: This morning I realized that this post could be totally misconstrued so I need to say a few more things. I am mostly referencing bad attitude feelings, laziness, less than desirable physical state (not out right sick), etc. 100% we also need to honor and respect our feelings in many, many situations.

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