The Emerald Girl

casual. classic. curious.

Saturday, September 28, 2019

Am I doing my best?

Thomas Family Farm Sunflower Festival
Denim on denim in the sunflower field

Thomas Family Farm Sunflower Festival
Denim style in sunflower field | The Emerald Girl
Thomas Family Farm - Sunflower Field - The Emerald Girl Blog
Is my best really the best? Can I honestly consider "my best" the best if I'm not always continuing to learn how to do better?

Maya Angelou once said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better". I'd like to take that one step further to say that you should always be seeking to know better. We humans don't come equipped with all the knowledge we need - unfortunately. ;)

When a friend in my mom group said she was reading a book about whether or not people in general are doing the best they possibly can do, right off the bat, I thought yes. At least, I thought I was. Not necessarily everyone else. I'm a pusher, a dreamer, a goal maker, someone with aspirations. Of course, I'm trying my absolute best most of the time. However, as this idea has simmered in my mind over the last year, I've realized another key to doing one's best is prioritizing the things that really require your absolute best because we really cannot do it all well. Being intentional takes much energy so I am learning that I need to prioritize what I really, really want to spend my energy on if I want to do my best.

If I could pick one priority it would be my family. Included with family is raising kids among other things but for the sake of keeping this post short, I'll stick to one example. Earlier this year Matt and I attended a Biblical Parenting Principles and Practical Help class and it was then that I realized that if I wanted to raise God loving humans who are well prepared in all situations it was going to require so much more than I was doing. While I often sit and simmer in frustration wondering what my purpose in life is, I can be sure raising my kids is part of it and stepping up to do that well is my calling (at least one of my callings).

What does parenting well look like? Wouldn't we all like to know?!
While I cannot answer this question, I can share some things I know I need to focus on to do my best and to keep doing better.

  1. Take care of my body through proper nutrition, exercise and sleep. These are not my strong points and yet weigh heavily on my ability to do anything at my best, especially parenting.
  2. Learn more, be more informed. For example, I've recently started reading the book, "Tending the Heart of Virtue - How Classic Stories Awaken a Child's Moral Imagination. This is opening my eyes to the lofty task of parents "to be mentors to our children in the moral life". (Guroian 4) Along with that it has made me realize that I need to keep pursuing how to cultivate my kids hearts at home because I don't know all the many things that could enrich this experience for us all.
  3. Spend quality time with my kids. This seems rather obvious but for any parents reading this, then you know, there's a hundred other things that I could be doing that seem more important than sitting down and playing with my kids - a hundred - but if sitting on the couch and reading one book makes my kids feel loved and feel valuable as well as teach them to be generous with their time in relationships, then the laundry can wait. (Granted, I don't think the laundry should wait all week, there is value in teaching kids to be good stewards of our home, but balance).
A person can really only do one thing well at a time so while I'd also love to dive deeper into creating a non-toxic home environment, write more and grow my blog, take photos for a magazine shoot, etc., I'm working on family first and that's the best I can do (for now).

***All photos taken at the Thomas Family Farm 1st Annual Sunflower Festival. Denim inspired outfit: top (j.crew), jeans (madewell), boots (hunter), bracelet (kiel james Patrick).

Thursday, September 19, 2019

On blogging more

They say that to have a successful blog, one needs to be quite targeted and niched down. I can see how that's true. After all, I don't stick around other people's accounts unless it's clear what I'm getting from that person. I can't be targeted. My brain is not targeted and my blog writing has always been and will always be an outpouring of the hundreds of things floating around in my head all day. I can't promise that you'll always get life tips or humorous personal anecdotes or pretty pictures. According to experts, the only people who will be interested in my type of blog, are people who already know and like me. My own mother doesn't read what I write though so I don't know what that says.

Being as it's my birthday month, I was going to write about what great gifts to the world all of us virgos are, thinking we're a rare treat but, I just looked it up, the reality is that it seems virgo may be one of the most common zodiac types. If that's true, I have many questions on why the world isn't operating in tip-top condition. We are ordered, detailed, methodical, logical, easy going... the list of wonderful attributes goes on. It all comes down to, well, just about every other thing that makes us who we are. I guess what's logical to me may not be what is most logical to someone else however, as  a true virgo, I would question whether or not that person really is logical. :oP

All of this to say, I plan on writing more. Developing my writing voice and technique more. I want to share a lot more organizational tips and tricks. I've always related to Marie Kondo. I was that weird child who would stay up late cleaning and organizing my things because it gave and continues to give me immense satisfaction to create structure and order. Maybe that's just a shy, introverted, virgo thing? I'll also continue to create pretty photos, most of which involve flowers. Lastly, I'll try to break through the fear of sharing. It would be nice, if something I write about makes any of you readers think about something, leave a comment, start a conversation.

Monday, September 9, 2019

About having hard conversations

You know all those things that feel confrontational so you just never address them? Ya, those things. If being an adult means you can handle what feels like hard convos, then I seriously suck. (For another post but this is why I don't feel like an adult, I thought adults had stuff figured out and under control - hint: just an illusion). However, I recently did have a hard conversation and I'll fill you in on the secret to what finally gave me the courage to speak up.

A person, who shall remain anonymous, was unknowingly driving me absolutely insane. I want to emphasize the word "unknowingly". The better side of me knew that this person did not know how they were effecting me although after days that turned into weeks of them continuing in the unbearable behavior, I had fabricated an entire story in my head about how and why this person was trying to ruin my life. I couldn't take it. I wanted to run away.

I either had to run away and never return or I had to face it head on. Instead of letting the false story of how this person wanted to drive me crazy so that I would leave continue on any more, I told myself a new story. A story that sounded more rationale and level headed. The story of me leaving. If I left, that person who was unknowingly driving me insane would ask me one question. That question was: why didn't you just tell me so I could stop? That's when I knew, I had to confront this person. Confront is really too harsh of a word. I mean people annoy other people all the time or do things without thinking all the time and with no ill intentions and we, the human race, should be able to talk to each other about things. Is there a lesser word for confront?

So I did. I was nervous. My eyes looked down. But I did it! The person I was speaking with was so receptive to what I was saying and had no clue and was glad that I told them.

The lesson is to give people the benefit of the doubt. First imagine they are just as reasonable as you and how you would respond if you were them. That can give you the courage you need to proceed because we shouldn't be running away from our problems. We're supposed to learn how to deal with one another with love and grace. Now I have a tiny bit more confidence in myself and can lean back on this experience in the future when I need to.

***Curious minds: this is not about any of my friends or family members***

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Of blooms and bursts of color

Summer always ends in a burst of deep colors and an explosion of blooms as the final encore. The bright deep colors blend perfectly with rich autumn hues as the leaves turn into brilliant shades of red, orange and yellow. The beginning of fall is my favorite season of all but it's only well received when the slow, warm days of summer become one too many and the anticipation of cozy nights, pumpkins everywhere and sweater weather hits the horizon.

This styled shoot is especially rewarding for me because I know it wasn't easy to do. I haven't been working much as make many compromises in order to be home more with my kids. One of these compromises means I haven't bought any new clothing type article for myself since the beginning of February. In this ultra-consumerism culture we live in, that is a hard feat. The only thing I bought for this project was the blooms and this may have been the only bunch I bought for myself all summer (another compromise). I had envisioned these flowers against an all white ensemble so that the colors would really pop. Then to set the bistro table, I didn't know what to do. I felt creatively stumped and was beginning to feel upset that I would just never be the photographer that I wanted to be because I don't have the resources to have perfect props and the perfect eye for styling. It may not seem like much but if you've ever attempted any sort of styling, you know it can be challenging to pull in the right details that tell the right story. I remembered something I noticed about one of my favorite styling duos (Kiel James Patrick and his wife Sarah Vickers), more is more! More details, give more to the story and create more feelings. My story says: hello, perfect summer evening, pull up a chair, grab a cold fruity drink and read a book amidst these beautiful blooms. It screams leisure and that is exactly what summer should scream. And this is exactly how my summer felt (more about that in another post).

Being forced to use only what you have really will push you creatively. At least it did for me with this styled shoot and, in my opinion, this has been my best styled set yet!

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Favorite Things: Taylor Swift

There are not many bands or musical artists that I really know well. I'd fail any Jeopardy category that needed names of songs or artists even though I love listening to music. However, there is a small handful of artists who I know and have followed their careers through the years. Taylor Swift is one of those people. In the beginning, she was a girl that I hated to love but I've since had a complete 180. Taylor's career is inspiring and listening to her music motivates me to keep going creatively. She's a boss, headstrong and talented. I've compiled a list of my favorite songs into one easy to listen to Spotify playlist for your listening enjoyment. What're your fav Taylor songs? Sound off in the comments below!