The Emerald Girl

casual. classic. curious.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Baby Girls Bedroom

Morgan has not quite moved into the room she will share with her brother. (I don't think I'll be ready to make that jump until she is at least sleeping through the night). I'm trying to find ways to start incorporating some more girly things. I'm a bit stumped though because I don't want to make the room to girly or boyish. I need something in the middle. I want her art wall to be more girly because, let's face it, girly art is WAY cuter.

Baby Girl Bedroom Inspiration

While I'm obsessed with the dresser for many reasons, the biggest being the metal texture, sadly this would not really work in our current apartment. The kids room is simply not big enough for two dressers. I need a taller dresser so that Jack can have some drawers and Morgan can have some drawers. (If anyone has a better solution, please let me know!). The books illustrated by Anna Bond are incredible. We've started the collection for Morgan and have The Little Princess. Morgan doesn't know this but she really, really wants to collect them all! ;) Instagram has served as a constant source of inspiration for me. The mermaid dolls and the heart felt banner were both discovered on it. I really want to create the childhood room of my dreams. Lots of textures, happy art, bright colors and unexpected objects.

Yes, for those who may be wondering, I made the grid in Paint. I had to! I don't use Photoshop for photo editing. I may have gone overboard with the shapes but I do think they contribute to the look and feel of the room. So, there.

Thursday, January 28, 2016

My Energizers

In all of my searching for what I'm "passionate" about or want to do or should do, I have never heard this piece of advice which put it so plainly. What things in your life give you energy? The things you can't wait to do. Things that excite you. It sounds straight up obvious but when put so plainly I actually got it.

(From this blog post).

I'm going to have to start paying more attention to the things that I get excited about. One moment sticks out in particular. Almost five years ago (maybe four, I can't remember exactly), my husband and I were jogging on a spring morning and when we got back home I started looking at a Martha Stewart magazine. Easter edition to be exact. I was pumped. Maybe it was a mixture of the positive endorphins from exercising but all the thoughts and emotions that filled me when I thought about having a home, an Easter egg hunt and lovely decorations and spread of food made me excited.

So, I guess I need to exercise more and see if anything else excites me. AND I need to read more Martha Stewart. Lastly, I should think of how to not put roadblocks to the things that make me happy and how to realize those excited thoughts into actual action.

I get excited about other things too but that will have to be another post.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Why can't I go back home

This idea started out as a fear that even if I moved back to my old neighborhood it might not be the same.

It has since morphed into a psychological ponder about myself and what I feel like must be millions of others. For as long as I can remember in my adult life (ie: since moving out of my parents house) when things go terribly, emotionally wrong I just want to go home. Like, not my home, the home I grew up in. When the world feels upside down, I want nothing more than to curl up in a ball in my parents home and just feel all the feelings of finding rest in a safe place. That home is a sacred place to me and I as I have aged with increasing anxiety that house becomes more sacred. 

Flashback three years ago, Matt, Jack and I had to temporarily move in to my parents house for a month due to emergency plumbing issues in our place. It. Was. Not. Fun. I kept thinking that I don't remember my parents being that neurotic when I lived there. Or it wasn't that bad. Did they get worse? Or had I just grown so accustomed to my own way of living that their way seemed foreign? I am grateful that they let us stay but I was severely let down by my own hyped up expectations about how fun it would be living at home again. 

Where has my home gone? I couldn't get back there. It's a desperate feeling. I have the song lyrics running through my head, "home is wherever I'm with you". I wish I could feel it. I still feel homeless after having been asked to move from our home this past summer. I'm not attached to our new apartment. Obviously that would come with time and I think it would surprise me. But now I don't know where I want to live. I so badly want to feel at home. I digress. 

I have this daunting fear that one day my parents may sell their home and I may not be OK. Like, how would that ever be OK?! You can't just sell someone's childhood home. The place I grew up. The place where I had no worries or fears. The place where I didn't have the weight of the world on my shoulders - I didn't even know the weight of the world was even a thing. Where my mom comforted me and wiped away my tears and took care of everything and made me feel loved. That home is not just symbolic. It's physical. And I feel that weight lifted whenever I enter through its doors. So familiar. 

What is a home anyway and why can't we ever return. Why does it seem home is not a physical place rather it is an emotional place?