The Emerald Girl

casual. classic. curious.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Confessions of a Fan Girl

This is a work in progress.

The Internet has bred a bunch of wannabes. A bunch of people completely unhappy and dissatisfied with their life. Always comparing. Always trying to be the happy, every day people they see in pretty pictures on different forms of social media (hello, Instagram and Pinterest). I must admit that I am one of these people. Good for them but a LOT of people have made a LOT of money trying to tell other people how to do exactly what they did to have a fabulous life like they do. Seriously though, good for them. When you really look at what some of your favorite faces online are doing you may begin to wonder what exactly it is that they are doing. Is it sustainable? Let's just say some very, very successful bloggers - like what is it that they are actually doing? In the long run, in order for them to stay profitable, they will have to keep changing what it is they are actually doing or really focus on growing an actual business and not just ideas. At least I don't see "ideas" as being long term success without any real work behind them.

I've been inspired.
And I've been reminded of what I often feel to be true.
No one on the Internet is going to make my life better. I will never be those people. I will never have their life (probably for the best). There is no magic button to make a successful business. I actually just have to get out there and do the hard work. I need to stop listening to the hum of the Internets and just do what I need to do.

Sometimes I think, well what do I really want to do? You know, I can always change what I'm doing. I've loved photographing people. Ever since I was a teen, I've loved it. It scares the hell out of me. It challenges me like no one or thing has ever been able to challenge me. It makes me want to run and hide. But I keep doing it. Slowly (because I keep hiding). And these pretty people on the Internet. Well, I think they're getting me off course. Sure, I would love to run an online company so that I can work from anywhere in the world (though I don't care for traveling much outside of the west coast but hey whatev). I really would. But what would it be? I'm not going to be some type of coach or mentor. What would I mentor people on? I believe to be a real mentor you need years and years of actual success under you belt. And probably a good mentor is still in whatever field they are mentoring on. Like my step-dad.

Side story: my step-father has successfully for over 30+ years run his own company. He is not on the Internet. (His company of course has a website and is somewhat involved on Facebook but he is not on the internet). He probably doesn't know what blogs are, Pinterest - whatrest? And the guys a success. You can't fake it for over 30 years.

There is so much STUFF out there. Just tons and tons of stuff that is positioned to help you become better, more successful, etc, etc, etc. But all it does is leave you grasping for straws. (Is that a saying)? I've watched and read so many business and marketing related content in the last six years. It's actually slightly depressing because all that says to me is 'hey, why haven't you actually done anything?'. Without even being 100% aware, I just am one of those people in my generation. One of those people who doesn't think they have to work hard to make things happen. I hate admitting that. I've done nothing but complain about how I'm still not where I want to be in life. It's pathetic. I have a bookcase full of marketing and business related books and look where I am. I haven't put in the work. I've been ruled by insecurities. I've sulked in self-pity over comparing myself to others who seemingly have the perfect life online.

Maybe I should do this.
Maybe I should shut out all the noise. Unfollow all the people. Why am I looking up to them anyway. Let's call it what it is. Jealousy. Envy. Greed. Stop trying to be and just do.
For a month. And just see if actually doing gets me further than reading about doing. Reading about doing comes with the illusion of feeling like you are actually doing something productive when in reality all you are doing is playing make believe. It's just a dumb rat race where everyone is trying to keep up with everyone and no one is really making it anywhere anyway.

But. And I have to add this caveat. Or do I? Geez I don't even know. I'm an addict. There's always a caveat. There's always something. But. Ok, well, I mean the Internet should go back to what it was. A super awesome great fab place to look up stuff that you are looking for and on occasion be inspired by something that you randomly find not some place that is just throwing ideas and shit at you from all sides about anything and everything and making you feel like you need anything and everything in your life or else your life sucks. I KNOW I am NOT alone in feeling like this.  But I was going to say that there is probably some value in having a VERY small circle of blogs or people that you follow online. Very small. Around 10 or less. Probably less is better. Less is more. In life. So, I was going to say that I wouldn't cut out everyone but I think I'm going to do it mostly.

I'm going to cut out all the noise. All the crap. All the stuff that makes me feel like a hurricane of needs and wants and desires with no destination or idea or or. I just don't need #allthethings in my life.

This theory to be continued....

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