The Emerald Girl

casual. classic. curious.

Monday, August 4, 2014

The pitfalls of living in shared spaces

Anyone living in the city knows that living in a multi-family building has it's challenges. I suppose this doesn't apply to only those living in cities but it is definitely more common in urban areas. We've been incredibly blessed for almost five years to have near perfect neighbors living above us. Though I say "near perfect", I can't really recall specific incidences in which I hated them. If I had to take a guess, I would say each tenant above had one night of loud partying fun. And that's it.

Finally, the fourth set of neighbors to move in upstairs has sent me spiraling. Worse than having a new born baby. Pretty sure of that, anyway. I'm distancing myself from this place I have grown to love so deeply. From this place I have called my home for almost five years. Realizing that this place was never mine to begin with. As any renter knows, it takes time to feel truly home in a rental and then when you do, as I'm experiencing for the first time, you kind of forget that the rental isn't really yours. Not really.

We've lived so much life here. In this secret basement. On this great hill. The thought of having to leave it has left me in tears many a night. But the pain of being woken up more nights than not, for extended periods, never knowing if tonight would be peaceful or stressful has become too great. My heart is distancing itself and making room for change.

It will be hard to replace a neighborhood with a walk score of 90.

I'm still so tired.

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