The Emerald Girl

casual. classic. curious.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

What I Didn't Expect When I Had a Baby

Some naivety is completely expected. I was beyond naive. When you're watching a movie and you're laughing as you watch this person stumble through what should have been a real obvious life moment - that would have been me you were laughing at. What I didn't expect, numero uno:

1) I did not expect anything to change. At all. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I literally thought everything would be exactly the same except there would just be one more person. It wasn't that long ago, just over two years to be exact, but I laugh so hard at that person I was back then. I flat out had no idea. Really, I must have just been avoiding the drastic change in my head. Thing will change. Rather drastically. But oh how it changes for the best. As a person who thrives in a structured environment, it can both bad and good. Bad because often babies schedules change for no apparent reason. Good because babies thrive on structure too. Regularly scheduled naps and eating times.

2) Childcare. Is so expensive. I now understand why so many people say they cannot afford kids. It's not the extra food, diapers or clothing. It's the childcare. Realistically, it's just a few short years, if you need to have childcare before your income resumes a little more flexibility. Unless of course you plan on private school, which in many cases is much cheaper than childcare.

3) Having kids forces you to rely on God. You learn just what trusting God really means. I'm not saying that it is easy but if you stay aware, then you can let the change be beautiful. I'm still learning this. It's hard to go to God with the hard stuff. I don't want to pray when I am beyond frustrated with being a parent. But He wants us to. You learn just how much you are not in control. Man oh man. Trusting God is the hardest part. But I love that He is using this to shape me more into the person that  He is calling me to be. (Really, I should write a whole other post on this because it's so prevalent in my life currently).

4) Basically, this stems from number one but I did not realize how much time a baby and now a toddler would consume of me. Jack's new favorite thing is to grab me by the hand and say 'come, come' into his room and then command me to 'sit' on his bedroom floor. Sweet, yes, I know. But all of the time? I mean I have dishes to wash, clothes to fold, floors to sweep, books to read. This is good though. How good it is to lay down my own life for someone else's. And in such a rather easy way too.

I know that all of this is teaching me to be a better person. To be a better follower of Jesus. To understand people and have more compassion. As long as I stay open to the good change. As long as I don't fight it. Spring is in the air this week and it feels so good.


  1. Great post! I'm still wedding planning and probably a few years off from having a baby (you never know though!) and this is really great advice!


    AJ |

  2. My husband and I are trying to have a baby and I too have this crazy stupid notion that things will all be the same, yet better, when having a baby. But it all sounds like good change (with the exception of childcare costs!) So I'm ready - bring it on! :) xo

    1. That is very exciting! Yes, it is all completely unexpected but so good! Looking forward to hearing more of that journey :)