The Emerald Girl

casual. classic. curious.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

I am a GREAT photographer

Recently I had the great opportunity to photograph one of my friends new baby. She is so adorable. But it made me think. I don't mind taking pictures of babies. My specialty, the thing that really excites me is shooting couples and weddings. People just assume, oh you take pictures, can you take pictures of my family or my kids or my baby and the REAL reason why I always hesitate is because I feel like I suck. There are only so many hours in a day and so many less hours in a day once you have kids so my ability to really focus and get better in all aspects of photography is extremely limited. I like making a really beautiful image. It makes me excited. Whether it be at a wedding, of a couple or a new baby it really doesn't matter. Artists have this really amazing ability to convince themselves that they suck and that they cannot move forward. I'm in that place. Hard. It sucks. I'm practically paralyzed. I still have so much to learn even though I've learned a lot already. But so much to learn and that can be overwhelming. Wouldn't life be grand if I could make pictures for my one and only job? (Well, that and cute collage art). The more people who see my work, the more people who want me to take their family photos. Aaaackkkk!! Literally, it paralyzes me. I hate to say yes and in fact I try to sway people away by saying that I mostly do weddings or I'm not that great etc. But I also feel like I can't say no. I can't let people down. I can't let myself self-sabotage. Then, sometimes after booking a client I want to cry. I'm so worried of failing. So worried that a client will HATE my images and hate the experience and regret booking me. I need to surround myself with positive affirmations. I need to. I am a photographer. I am a good photographer. People like my work. I like my work. My photography is valuable. OK, like a mantra. Let's do this!

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